Parenting is no easy job. In fact, some will tell you that it’s the hardest job in the world! The balance needed to raise children is so delicate that the most honest of errors can have adverse effects. Here are five parenting errors we cannot afford to make, and often don’t even know we’re making.
Now, nobody’s saying you should let your child play with knives and fire; however, there is a stage in every child’s life in which they have to learn how to avoid danger practically and out of their own intuition.
A recent review of 70 studies looking at 200,000 children, conducted by the University of Warwick, suggested that children who have overprotective parents are more likely to be bullied by their peers.
By keeping our children too safe, we ironically rob them of essential life skills needed in order to avoid danger and thrive in life.
Furthermore, since overprotection often means restriction, many children tend to rebel against being wrapped up in cotton wool throughout their whole lives and develop extremely disobedient traits, out of that rebellion.
It is not enough for a parent to simply set rules. These rules must be sufficiently explained to the kids, to the extent that they know why they’re in place and the consequences of disobedience.
Rules that lack logic lack respect. Respect isn’t given by the parents in laying down the law (as it is done so without question or explanation) and respect is also absent from the children who cannot truly respect something they do not understand.
The effects of inconsistence are simple: children will not respect you or know how they should act. Children should be raised by a specific philosophy and life understanding, in order to avoid them developing disordered understandings of the world and how to behave within it.
Parents are responsible for setting examples for their children, which cannot be done adequately without such examples being consistent.
Being responsible is an essential part of parenting. A child needs to learn how to be responsible through the parents’ example. Any bills, mortgages, CIS tax payments etc, that need paying should be done so on time, in order for children to learn responsibility.
Of course, if you are genuinely unable to pay back a bill, then that is a different matter.
The message is that through your example, your children can themselves grow into responsible adults.
Undervaluing or Overvaluing School Education
The importance of school education cannot be underestimated. It gives children a wider range of opportunities in life and helps children better understand the world. It is for this reason that it always puzzles me to see parents who deem education to be unimportant. An active interest should be taken in our children’s schooling and education should be encouraged.
It should also be noted that education isn’t simply what is learnt in school textbooks. Educating can be done through conversation and encouraging an inquisitive nature in our children or even watching informative television programs.
Overvaluing school education is a major error many parents make. There are a range of millionaires and entrepreneurs that did not get to where they are in life through a university degree, or even an A-Levels.
Furthermore, parents need to understand that there are plenty of opportunities that do not involve acquiring a degree.