When a marriage no longer works, parents still question whether they should stay together for the well-being of the children. In other cases, there are couples who don’t even bother questioning the possibility of staying together no matter what the situation is. Regardless of what route parents decide to take before ultimately ending in divorce, the children are ultimately affected no matter what.
The psychological effects of divorce can vary, although it may comfort you to know that many children bounce back considerably quickly. By taking the right steps to minimize the damage done. Here are some of the best strategies for helping your kids navigate the often difficult feelings that accompany divorce.
Don’t Put Your Children In The Middle
Things can get emotional between the two of you during the break-up process. It’s not uncommon to find yourself using your kids as a tool to “prove a point” or “teach a lesson” to the other parent.
However, studies show that putting your child in the middle is one of the worst things that you can do for their psychological well-being. They will start to blame themselves and wonder what they did to contribute to the break-up. You’re better off keeping them as removed from the battle as possible. If you must argue, do so when they aren’t around!
Keep Discipline Consistent
It’s important that whatever rules you’ve used up until now, that you continue to enforce. When kids are going through a difficult emotional time, they are known for pushing their limits with their parents.
It’s not uncommon for children experiencing divorce to start acting out. It’s important that you enforce order more than ever during divorce. Dropping the ball on your discipline could lead to serious behavioral issues down the road.
Give Your Kids Comfort
Remember to comfort your children and remind them that they are not alone. Divorce can invite feelings of abandonment or fear of rejection. This Fear of Abandonment might later lead to their future relationships being hampered. Childhood experiences play a crucial role in our emotional development. In the absence of a secure relationship, children grow up to be adults who struggle with low self-worth and difficulty regulating their emotions in general. After adolescence, they are left with fears that are deeply rooted. Their biggest fear is that the people who matter most to them might abandon them. Therefore, It’s critical that you remind them that they are loved and valued.
Help them feel safe by providing a secure environment that doesn’t change up too frequently. Statistics show that children who had consistency and comfort during the divorce process were much less likely to display clingy behavior later on.
Find a Support System
Even though you may put pressure on yourself to be a perfect parent, it’s not realistic to do so. No one is perfect, so it’s important to remember that it’s okay to reach out for guidance. Don’t be shy to reach out to support groups, family members, or friends to provide help when you need it.
Some times you may need someone to come over and help you babysit, and in other cases, you may just need a hug.